Accidental God 2.0 -- Section 17

[I had it backwards in yesterdays comments. That was mostly old with a little new. Today's is all new, though. Oddly humorous, too. Sunshine was conceived as just a bit part, but I like him--in a slightly repulsed kind of way. See, I know what he's like when he's not being charming.]

    Will Mako had to pound for a solid five minutes before Sunshine opened the little window in the door.
    “Mako,” said the man, glaring through the little bars. “Go away. My bar is closed. And you woke me up. I hate you.”
    The sergeant held up a stack of twenties in front of the bartender’s face.
    “Mako,” said the man again, “why don’t you come in? My bar is always open to you, and you’re like a brother to me.”
    Will chuckled and stepped back as the two deadbolts slid open and the thick steel door swung into the alley. Sunshine’s wasn’t a gentle kind of bar, and it showed in the furnishings: solid and all bolted to the floor. It showed in the owner, too. Sunshine had a strangely unattractive combination of thick muscles and thick scars, and he had never bothered to hire a bouncer. He took care of that work on his own, and from what Will had seen of the man, Sunshine enjoyed it.
    “What can I get you, Sergeant Mako? You on the clock? Or does that even matter?”
    Will smiled. “Sure it matters. Drink on the clock and I might get caught, and right now I’m on the clock.”
    “So,” said Sunshine, looking as thoughtful as he ever looked as he considered, “scotch then?”
    “You read my mind,” said Will.
    As Sunshine stepped behind the bar, he looked sideways at the police sergeant. “It bothers me,” he said.
    “What does?” Will sat on a stool, set down the stack of twenties, and rested his elbows on the bar.
    “When you look like that. Times like these, your smile really does look like a shark.”
    Will cocked his head. “What do you mean, like a shark?”
    “I mean you look like a shark.”
    “What does that have to do with anything?”
    “Your name,” said the bartender, pulling a block of ice out of a little freezer. “Mako. It’s like the shark, right?”
    “I don’t think so,” said Will.  “Is it? I thought it was spelled differently.”
    “So what? You still say them the same, right?”
    “Yeah, but I think mine comes from Japanese or something like that.”
    “No kidding,” said Sunshine. “Is the shark Japanese?”
    “Why would a shark be Japanese? Animals aren’t anything. They’re just animals.”
    “But pandas are Chinese, right? I mean, we have to give the Chinese a statue of gold every time we want a panda for our zoos, so I figure that means pandas are definitely Chinese.”
    Will stared while Sunshine started chipping at the block of ice with a pick.
    “I hesitate to say this while you’re holding a weapon, Sunshine, but you are an idiot.”
    “I am not.”
    “No, sometimes you are. We never gave anybody a gold statue for anything. What would America be doing with gold statues?”
    “Then tell me how they got a panda in the zoo down at DC?  ‘Cause they’ve got one.”
    “I don’t know how they got a panda, but it wasn’t with any golden statues.”
    “Had a baby, too,” said Sunshine.
    “Who did?”
    “The panda.”
    “Why are we talking about pandas?”
    The bartender shrugged and grabbed a bottle from the shelf behind him. “How should I know? You brought it up.”
    Will rubbed at his face, wishing he’d had an hour or two more of sleep. “Pandas are not why I came.”
    “Figured as much.” Sunshine poured and set the drink in front of the sergeant. “You here about the drug deal on the south side?”
    “What? No.”
    “Then the Lewiston burglary.”
    “There was a burglary?”
    “You didn’t hear about that?”
    “When did it happen?”
    Sunshine shrugged. “They were going to do it this morning. You’re not here about that?”
    “I don’t think anyone on the force knows about that.” Will laughed. “Heck, I bet the Lewiston’s don’t even know about it yet. Don’t they have good security?”
    The bartender sniffed. “I hear it’s fair. Not much against these guys, though. This money isn’t for that?”
    “Not even a little. I’m in homicide now.”
    “Never mind, then. I don’t know a thing about the burglary.  What are you here about?”
    “Bjorn Baernson.”
    “The Bear killed someone? Oh, right. I heard somebody else got him last night. What about it?”
    Will picked up the stack of money, bound with rubber bands, and tossed it closer to Sunshine.  “He got killed, but thing is, he killed someone else first. It was a job, and I need to find out who hired him.”
    “What about the person who killed him?”
    “I need to know that, too.” Will stopped and thought. “Actually, that’s even more important, but I’m thinking that the person who hired him is the person who killed him.”
    “Sounds nasty,” said Sunshine.
    “Tell me about it. Also, I need to find this guy fast.”
    “You sure it’s a guy?”
    “Why do you say that? You think it’s a woman?”
    Sunshine shrugged again. “Not particularly.”
    “Then why did you bring it up?”
    “I’ve just noticed that you’re a bit of a masochist.”
    “I am not.”
    “Sure you are. You look down on women.”
    “That’s not being a masochist. That’s a misogynist.”
    “I thought that was when a black guy married a white woman.”
    Will shook his head. “I have no idea what they call that, but that’s not misogyny. Misogyny is when you hate women.”
    “Okay then.”
    “Okay then what?”
    “You’re a misogynist.”
    “I am not--forget it. Take that stack. Use what you need to find out about Bjorn, the rest is yours to keep.”
    “Thanks. What’s the stack in your pocket for?”
    The sergeant chuckled and reached into his coat pocket, pulling out another, larger stack of twenties.  “This is for another little job I’ve got for you. You know my employers?”
    “The NLPD?”
    “No. Different employers.”
    “You quit your job?”
    “This is an extra job.”
    “The best kind,” said Sunshine, putting on his wise face. It wasn’t very.
    “Whatever,” said Will. “Thing is, there are two people in town who have me doing a bit of something on the side and on the low-down, if you know what I mean. Never mind. Don’t answer that. The point is that I’m thinking it might be smart to get a little insurance on these two. See, I’m starting to think they may think of me as usable and disposable.”
    “Like a Kleenex,” said Sunshine.
    “Sure, I guess. Like a Kleenex.”
    “Or one of those cleaning wipes.”
    “So,” said Will, talking over the bartender, “I’m thinking it might be smart to find out a little more about my employers.”
    Sunshine’s eyes narrowed. “So this is dangerous?”
    Will remembered the two, standing in his room, and he shivered. Actually shivered. He’d heard about people doing that--I mean people say that something made them shiver, but he’d never actually experienced it before--but now, there it was. Will had shivered, and it was because of those two.
    “Yeah, I’d say it’s definitely dangerous.”
    “Ergo, the bigger stack.”
    Will stared.
    “What?” asked Sunshine.
    “Did you just pull out Greek on me?”
    “Why would I know Greek?”
    “You were just using it.”
    “What? ‘Ergo?’ That’s not Greek. That’s like, French, or something.”
    “It’s not French.”
    “How do you know? Do you speak French?”
    Will took a swallow. “I don’t have to speak French to know if something isn’t French. Maybe it’s Latin.”
    “Can’t be Latin.”
    “Why not?”
    “I don’t speak Latin.”
    “You don’t speak French either.”
    “Sure I do. Ergo. See? I’m French, like Francois Truffaut and that skunk on Looney Tunes.”
    “You’re a nut.”
    “Does a nut know about French New Wave film?”
    Will looked at Sunshine. “Yes,” he said finally.
    The bartender rolled his eyes. “You’re right. This girl keeps making me watch the stuff. It’s like they filmed a good movie, then cut it into lots of tiny pieces, then taped it all back together into the longest waste of time ever invented.”
    “That was almost poetic of you,” said Will. “I’m impressed.”
    “Probably because I’ve said that exact same thing to this girl more than twenty times.”
    “Really?”
    “In my head.”
    “Sunshine, you need a new girl.”
    “No I don’t.”
    “Sure you do.”
    “Mako, have you seen her?”
    “Which one is she?”
    “Jackie.”
    “Skinny Jackie?”
    Sunshine jerked back, wrinkling his nose. “Don’t say that, Sergeant. Not even nice to think about.”
    Will thought for a second. “Oh! You mean the Jackie with the--”
    “Yep.”
    “That’s the Jackie who--”
    “That’s the one.”
    “Whoa.” Will took another drink. “Okay, she might be worth a French film or two.”
    The two sat in silence for a moment out of respect for high art--Jackie, of course. Will hated foreign films.
    “So you’ll take it?” he asked after an appropriate time had passed.
    “Dangerous,” said Sunshine.
    “Yep.”
    “Big stack, though.”
    “Yep.”
    “What else do you know about them?”
    “I think they might be demons.”
    Sunshine bent one eyebrow down. “Two demons, new in town, man and woman? I think I might have heard something. But why aren’t you looking into this yourself?”
    “Not a chance,” said Will. “I can guarantee you, they hear I’m poking around, I won’t last the day. I need to get this information on the sly.”
    “Ergo, you’re giving it to me.”
    “Would you cut that out?”
    “Ask me nicely.”
    “Please?”
    “Ask me in French.”
    “I’m out of here.” Will stood up. “You’ll do the jobs?”
    Sunshine shrugged again. “I don’t see why not. Which one is more important?”
    “Definitely Bjorn. Wait. Hang on. The demons.” Will took a deep breath and let it out. “Both. They’re both important.”