The Problems with Final Fantasy XII

Where to start.  I've made it halfway through this game, and I can't do it anymore.  It's completely unrealistic, and I'm not even talking about the abs on the teenage hero.  (Seriously, no one I know looks like that.  Well, there's one girl on the cross country team, but I wasn't looking.)

No, I'm talking about realism where it really matters: the magic.  Specifically, the massive creatures that these people summon at the drop of a hat.  Totally bogus.

The Dog is telling me to calm down, but I'm not sure I can.  Look, once I tried to summon a shupling.  Not a big one, just a little one, because I thought it would be cool to have wings.  I'm me, The Dog was reasonably helpful--I think he wanted to see me with wings, too--and it worked.  Bam.  There it was, right in front of me, a small shupling.

"'Sup," he said, his head bobbing to whatever was on his iPod.  "Just a sec, I'll be with you."

"They have iPods on Shup?" I asked.

"Apparently," said The Dog.

"Love that song," said the shupling, yanking the buds out of his stretchy ears.  "What can I do for you?"

"I want to fly," I said.  I was fourteen at the time, and flying was one of my earliest ideas for getting to school without taking the bus.

"Sounds fun," he said.  "Where to?"

"I thought I'd just start small.  Maybe up and down a few times, get the hang of it, before we did anything serious."

"Rock on.  Hit it."  Then he stared at me.  I stared at him.  I lifted my hands in a 'let's go' kind of gesture, then he lifted his hands in a 'what are you waiting for' sort of shrug.

"I don't think you're communicating well," said The Dog.

"I can't fly unless you climb on my back," I said.

"Wait, what?  Dude, are you nuts?  I may be stretchy, but I'm not that stretchy.  I thought you had your own wings hidden someplace."

"Not so much," said The Dog.

"Forget this," said the shupling, and he was gone.

"You need to work on your summoning circles," said The Dog.

So you get my point.  Instantly summoning a massive creature of wrath that rains fancy fire or gravity or lots of cactus needles down on your enemies?  Just doesn't happen, and the gaming industry needs to get their heads around this.  If they don't put in a little more realism, people are going to get tired of it and the next gen of gaming console will end up as really expensive paperweights.

End of rant.

--Pete