The Fear of Writing

Considering how much I love writing, I'm constantly surprised at how terrifying I find it.

I've been actively writing now for over a year, and every time I sit down to write, I face it again: the dread of the blank page.  That's not my phrase, though I can't remember who said it, and it's completely accurate.  I dread the next sentence, because each new word could finally prove the Cynic in my head right, and I could discover I'm a "failure" as a writer, and somewhere in my future is a scene involving matchsticks, snow, and a moral lesson.

I wish I were more naturally inclined to see the magic of the blank page, because each new sentence can be a discovery of something amazing, as if my pen were coated in diamond dust--though actually, there must be some better way to use diamond dust than to put it in ink--and also, I type everything, almost nothing longhand--and a boring book is still boring, even if the ink looks really cool--BUT THE POINT IS: Writing can be a discovery, and finding that next bit of delight is the only thing that keeps me coming back.

That and being pestered by people who read what I write.  It helps.  Don't stop.

So here's upcoming bits of writing for the next week:
1. More about The Night Kingdom (working title): the grand/grim adventures of Pick, James, Babylon, Bandi, Reni, [Semi-Villain/Hero 1], [Semi-Villain/Hero 2], and [Real Villain].
2.  More about Doug.  His fight scene with Fat Tony is going to get some more length to it, and he has a special little epilogue, just for him.
3. Starting to edit and revise Fat Tony, maybe even reading the book for the first time.

There.  I've made a plan.  Now to find something to stick me to it.