The City of Dreams -- Part 35

[First draft is done. Here come the last few sections. Typing one-handed with a baby in the other. (The lengths I go to for you all....)]

Scene 3

Lights come up, showing only the sign 'Regrettable Misunderstandings.' Lights expand to show an old woman in a floral shirt, looking down at her script through oversized glasses.

Boy walks onto the stage, sets down his stool, and sits.

OLD WOMAN

You look upset, young man. Can I help you?

BOY

I'm looking for someone.

OLD WOMAN

Who's that?

BOY

Nobody.

OLD WOMAN

In that case, finding him could be quite a challenge.

BOY

I'm SUPPOSED to be looking for my friend, Punctual Fitzgibbons, but I'm not going to find him.

OLD WOMAN

Why not?

BOY

He's not real.

OLD WOMAN

And why are you 'supposed' to be looking for a friend that isn't real?

BOY

Because my parents think he IS real.

OLD WOMAN

How did that happen?

BOY

I didn't mean for it to work out this way. I made up Punctual Fitzgibbons because--well, I just did, and I never meant for my parents to actually believe in him, but they decided they wanted to meet him, and I said something about misunderstanding, and they thought I meant THIS place, and how was I supposed to know there was actually a city called Misunderstanding?

OLD WOMAN

And now you're here.

BOY

Yes.

OLD WOMAN

And you haven't told your parents?

BOY

No.

OLD WOMAN

That's regrettable. What are you going to do about it?

BOY

I don't know. I think I should tell them.

OLD WOMAN

Seems wise.

BOY

But I could let it all go, too. I wouldn't HAVE to tell them. We could go home, and I could make something up. I could say he got sick, or had an accident--armadillos on the road. Armadillos do get on the road, don't they?

OLD WOMAN

I believe so, but I haven't heard about it happening around Misunderstanding.

BOY

Still, armadillos are an option.

OLD WOMAN

Armadillos are always an option.

The Boy and the Old Woman sit, looking at each other.

BOY

Not a very good option, though.

OLD WOMAN

I have to agree. Why don't you tell me more about your friend?

BOY

Punctual Fitzgibbons? He's not my friend. I mean, he is, but he's not real.

OLD WOMAN

I did understand that much. But tell me, why did you make him up? With the exception of schizophrenics and writers, most people lose their imaginary friends by the age of twelve. Surely you had a good reason for needing this Fitzgibbons.

BOY

He's perfect.

OLD WOMAN

Aha.

BOY

He's nice, and funny. He'll probably grow up to coach basketball teams for underprivileged youth. He has no problem flossing his teeth every night. He likes being with people, instead of crossing the street to avoid someone because he can't remember her name. And he's always on time.

OLD WOMAN

I see. Are you always on time?

BOY

Never.

OLD WOMAN

Interesting. Flossing?

BOY

Hate it.

OLD WOMAN

I'm starting to see a pattern here. And you talk about Punctual Fitzgibbons?

BOY

When I think about him, it's like I'm doing all the things he does. It's like I'm....

Old Woman waits for him to finish.

BOY

It's like I'm the person I want to be.

OLD WOMAN

Punctual Fitzgibbons sounds too good to be true.

BOY

                        (laughing)

At least he was late today. Finally, Punctual Fitzgibbons has a flaw.

OLD WOMAN

That, and the fact that he doesn't exist, which is possibly more of a problem for him than for you, though it is at least an inconvenience for you at the moment. What do you think you'll do?

BOY

Apologize. It's what you do when you're stupid.

OLD WOMAN

An excellent start, but I think there's more you can do, as well.

BOY

What do you mean?

OLD WOMAN

The stories you tell about Punctual Fitzgibbons might be useful.

Loud crash from offstage, followed by a shout from Pork Chop. Old Woman glances back, then looks back to her script.

OLD WOMAN

Try telling those same stories--

Another loud crash and the thumping of wooden feet.

OLD WOMAN

--but instead of Master Fitzgibbons, tell the stories about yourself.

Thumping gets louder and closer.

OLD WOMAN

                        (shouting over the noise)

See if you can't make those stories come true--oh, my!

The end table rushes onto the stage, followed closely by every other piece of furniture from backstage. The end table scampers behind the Boy and attempts to hide. Led by the armoire, the rest of the furniture advances menacingly.

BOY

I'll have to try that.

Pork Chop, dressed in black shirt and pants, steps onstage, trying to quietly nudge furniture back into the wings.

BOY

But first, an apology.

Round Man--who is clearly not the Narrator, because of the hat-- creeps up behind the end table. Feathered Woman and Camel Suit wait at the edge of the stage with a large furniture box.

OLD WOMAN

An apology is always a good place to start.

The armoire lunges and the Boy ducks, falling off his stool. Three chairs try to make an end run after the end table, but collide with Round Man. End table scampers between Feathered Woman and Camel Suit, escaping backstage before they can herd the hyperactive bit of wood into the box. Pork Chop and a mismatched dinette set charge after in hot pursuit.

Somewhere backstage comes another crash, and from over the stage comes a tumbling silk waterfall, pouring down endlessly onto the Boy.

Girl in the audience laughs, and the Boy smiles at her hopefully.

OLD WOMAN

No matter how badly it goes, an apology is always a good place to start.

Jaunty organ music.