Old Movies--I Mean REALLY Old

"Homework is a plague on our society," said--yeah, get this--The Dog!

"I can't believe you're saying this," I said.

"It's true," he said.  "Homework promotes delinquency and short attention spans, culminating in Attention Deficit Disorders, smoking on school grounds, and public hangings."

"You lost me," I said.

"I went too far with public hangings, but the rest is true."

"Do explain."

"When teachers assign homework, it gives kids an out.  'I don't have to pay attention in class,' they all think, 'because I can learn it all when I go home and do my homework.  So their minds wander, reducing their already stunted attention spans even further, and then they jump from thing to thing, text message to doodle to comic book they're hiding in their textbook--"

"I hardly ever do that," I said.

"And before you know it," continued The Dog, "you've all been diagnosed with ADD, and addicted to tar and nicotine, and our society is taking a long walk off a short pier.  All because of homework."

"Dog?" I said.

"Yes, Pete."

"I'm sorry we're missing the Fred Astaire marathon, but I'm still going to do my homework.  You could always go without me."

"Right," said The Dog.  "You're funny.  And Fred Astaire is so graceful.  There will never be another tap dancer quite like him."

"What about Ginger Rogers?"

"Don't quibble," said The Dog.

So there you have it: homework is the scourge of our society.  And don't stand between The Dog and his old movies.

--Pete