Cork on a Fork (or Why I Was Tired Yesterday)

Someone (who will remain nameless) commented on my last post (in a somewhat critical and/or scoffing manner, I might add). She questioned how I could be so tired when I was posting before ten in the evening. Because I do, at times, get slightly defensive, I'm taking the time to answer her question. So this post is her fault. You have been warned.

It was after school, I was on my way home, and I get a call from my immediate superior at the agency. This time we'll call him Mister Slightly-Panicky-On-The-Phone.

"Mr. Morgenthall," he said, because we are so not on a first-name basis, "you are our closest consultant to the Blorgman Brugles Bagel Bakery. We need you there right away." No, he didn't say 'Blorgman Brugles' but he used a name of a bagel company that took over another bagel company, which is now defunct, and I'm still in mourning, so I'm not saying the name here, and I'm never saying the name of the new bagel company, and that's something you'll have to deal with.

"What's happening at the BBBB?" I said.

"Magical assault. We don't know the exact weapon, but it's blown out one wall, the roof, and half the fabric store next door."

"I'm on it," I said.

"Sounds nasty," said The Dog when I hung up.

"Less talk, more pretending like you have to hurry to keep up with me when I hurry."

"See my tail wagging?" he said. "That means I'm working hard."

We ran to the BBBB. It was true. Dust was still rising through the hole that used to be a ceiling, and people were running out of the fabric store with pillaged swatches.

"What do you see, Dog?"

"I don't think you're going to like it," he said.

"I have to know what we're getting into. Give it to me straight."

"Looks like a man, mid thirties, and he's holding a fork."

That shook me, but I still had to ask the question: "Anything on the fork?"

"I said you weren't going to like it."

"Dog."

"It's a cork. He has a cork on a fork."

We dealt with it, but now can you understand, oh nameless critic, why I might possibly have been tired yesterday? A cork on a fork, and I dealt with it. Me! Okay, me and The Dog, but still mostly me. I had a right to be tired. I'm still tired. So there.